


Nobody Mess With Mi Familia

by DarthAbby



Series: Our Memories are Coming Back in the Form of Someone Else [4]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: And yes that includes multiple versions of the same character, Avengers: Endgame Fix-It, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Found Family, Multiverse, Okay listen just pretty much every character is going to be in this, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), multiple versions of the same people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-03-06 11:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18849892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthAbby/pseuds/DarthAbby
Summary: Apparently, their universe is just a magnet for Peter Parkers. Katereallyisn't qualified to deal with this sort of nonsense.(Endgame Fix-It, no Endgame spoilers though. More like fixing Infinity War so that Endgame doesn't have to happen?)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Woooo multichapter fic! I'm not sure how long this is going to be, but basically I'm gonna be saving everyone (or, Kate & co. will be saving everyone) because I am continuing to happily ignore canon.

Miles laughs, loudly and freely, as he backflips away from the pole being swung at his face. “Too slow!”

There’s a quiet buzz in his ear as the comm is activated, and a familiar voice speaks.  _ “You know, you’re only pissing them off more.” _

He laughs again, webbing one of the goons in the face. “Oops, I lied earlier.  _ Now  _ you guys are really in trouble. Backup just arrived, and it definitely  _ ain’t _   yours.”

_ “Yeah, don’t think you’re getting off scot-free either, kiddo,” _ Kate scoffs in his ear.  _ “Isn’t it a school night?” _

“Yeah…” he answers slowly, even as he moves quickly. Five months after taking down Wilson Fisk, and they’re still cleaning up after him. His criminal empire was too sturdy to crumble in one night, unfortunately, and he’d had fingers in a frankly alarming amount of pies. The current fight is taking place on a skyscraper that’s only partially constructed, and Miles is concentrating hard on not falling off the edge, or accidentally sending anyone else over the side, either. “But in my defence, I  _ was _ heading back when I saw these guys being sus!”

_ “Sus?!” _   Kate echoes, laughing heartily. Three goons who had been regrouping on the other side of the floor are suddenly struggling under a weighted net.  _ “How hard is it to say ‘suspicious,’ really?” _

Miles grins under his mask - the goal had been to make Kate laugh, and it had been achieved. Every giggle that escaped her was counted as a personal victory in his mind.

Five months since Fisk had been arrested, five months since Miles had taken up the mantle of Spider-Man… five months since the Peter Parker of this universe had been murdered. His family was still grieving, of course - five months is a drop in the bucket compared to the years they now faced without him. So, yes, Miles had quickly added  _ ‘make Kate laugh’ _   to his nightly checklist. He’s proud to say that he usually succeeds. When he sees Aunt May and MJ, he tries to make them laugh, too.

He’s not sure how much it helps, but it’s gotta help  _ some. _ Just like how his mom had accidentally-on-purpose knocked over a bag of flour while making cookies the day after Uncle Aaron’s funeral, creating a flour explosion that had absolutely covered her, and gotten about half of Miles, too. It was a mess, but it had made his dad laugh so hard that he had been forced to sit down before he fell.

His mom had cut a sly smile at Miles before joining in on the laughter, and he had understood, then. Even nurses fall back on the oldest of remedies sometimes - laughter is the best medicine.

So, Miles does his best to make everyone laugh; his dad, his mom, Kate, MJ, Aunt May, and himself.

* * *

Kate takes him back to her and MJ’s apartment, because that has quickly become The Rule for when Miles is either injured or in trouble.

This time is, well, both.

“I’m  _ fine,” _   he gripes, even as he holds his head, silently cursing the bad guy who had snuck up behind him when both his and Kate’s attention had been elsewhere and gotten a lucky - and  _ hard _ \- hit.

Kate doesn’t say anything, just unlocks the door and holds it open for him. Miles walks in with a pout.

MJ is already ready with the first aid kit and two glasses of water on the kitchen table. “It’s a school night, Miles.”

“I know,” he sighs, dropping into the chair next to her.

“Can you check him for a concussion?” Kate asks, dropping a kiss onto MJ’s cheek as she passes by. “I’m gonna shower really quick.”

MJ shakes her head as she pulls a penlight out of the kit. “Do you feel sick?”

“No.”

“Dizzy?”

“No.”

She checks his pupils with a hum. “Headache?”

“Yeah,” he grimaces. “Dude snuck up behind me and hit the top of my head.”

She winces sympathetically. “Thank god you have the same healing factor Pete did.  _ And _   the same thick skull.” She puts the penlight away and pushes one of the glasses closer to Miles.

“I feel like that was an insult,” he says as he picks it up.

“Only partially.” Her lips twist up, trying not to smile at his affronted look. “How’s school going, anyways?”

“Good, we just started -”

MJ never finds out what Miles’ class just started, because at that moment there’s an odd sound, sort of like breaking glass but underwater, and a large, glowing blue star appears where the front door should be, and three people fall out of it onto the rug.

* * *

_ “Whoa _ , who is  _ that?” _

“What the hell!”

The exclamations from the kitchen encourage Kate to hurry up getting re-dressed. She grabs a shirt and pants from the dresser, throwing them on without looking before running out of the bedroom, bow in hand and an arrow already on the string.

The scene that greets her when she skids out is… unexpected. And after living with Spider-Man for several years, meeting five alternate versions of him, and learning how to be a hero on the fly with the new Spider-Man, Kate is comfortable in saying that not much strikes her as very wild anymore.

But as she drops her bow to aim at the carpet instead of at her alternate self’s head, she has to admit, this is  _ pretty _   wild.

“Hawkeye,” she sighs, looking at the unexpected guests. “America. And… third person. What are you doing here?”

America gets to her feet first. “I  _ told _   you I could get us to a safer dimension, Princess. Hi, Kate.”

Hawkeye gets up, wincing as she does so. “I never said I doubted you, calm down. Hi, Hawkeye. Which one are you?”

MJ sighs heavily at the sight of another Kate. “I need a drink. You want anything, babe?”

“I’m good, thanks,” Kate says, throwing her a smile before turning back to the newcomers. “I’m the ‘what’s a Hawkeye’ Kate. I bought you milkshakes.”

“See? Much safer.” America gives Hawkeye a smug look. Kate isn’t sure if she should feel offended or not by the insinuation that a universe without a ‘proper’ Hawkeye is safer.

“Whatever. Who’re your friends?”

Kate relaxes completely, letting the tension on her bowstring disappear. “That’s MJ, and that’s Miles.”

Miles, still sitting at the kitchen table with one hand on his head, squints at the group. “MJ, are we  _ sure  _ I don’t have a concussion?”

MJ snorts, pulling out a bottle of cider from the fridge. “You’re fine, they’re real.”

“Ooh, can I have -”

“No.”

Kate holds back a laugh at the short exchange before turning back to America, Hawkeye, and the third person. “So, who’s your new buddy?”

The kid can’t be more than sixteen or so, obviously wearing clothes that didn’t originally belong to him, and as he turns his wide brown eyes on Kate, she feels a sinking sensation in her stomach.  _ Oh no. _

“I’m Peter,” he says, managing a small smile as he sticks a hand out to her. “Peter -”

“Parker,” Kate, MJ, and Miles all chorus with a sigh.

He blinks. “Uh, yeah?”

Miles shakes his head, then winces at the action. “Great,” he mutters. “Just what we needed, another Peter Parker.”

MJ takes a long pull from her bottle, looking him over. “This one is tiny,” she finally says. “But at least he isn’t a pig.”

“Uh,” Peter says, looking absolutely bewildered at their reactions. “Thanks? I think?”

America crosses her arms over her chest and gives Kate a look. “Okay, Kate, I think you’ve got as much of a story to tell as we do.”

Kate sighs and gestures for them to get comfortable on the couch, falling onto the old La-Z-Boy. “So, about a year after the last time we met…”

* * *

“I’d love to say that’s the weirdest shit I’ve heard this week,” America says, pinching the bridge of her nose as Miles wraps up the story with his fight against Fisk, “but it’s not. Not by a long shot.”

“Yeah, I imagine so,” Kate says. “Considering that I’m pretty sure that the sad, old Peter who was dressed like a homeless person when I met him is the one from  _ your _   universe.”

“Yeah, that tracks,” Hawkeye nods. “Not that he wanted to tell us  _ anything  _ when he got back. Something about it not mattering because it didn’t concern our dimension.” She rolls her eyes. “Idiot.”

“Sounds about right. So, where are  _ you  _ from, Tiny Peter?”

“Please don’t make that my nickname,” Peter says, wrinkling his nose unhappily. MJ makes about the same noise at that as Kate had heard her make before when shown a video of baby goats in sweaters. “I’m from a universe where… everything has pretty much gone to hell. We were fighting against this alien guy, Thanos. He wanted to wipe out half of the entire population, across the whole universe. And… we lost.”

“Thanos tried to do something similar in  my universe a while back, but he was stopped,” Hawkeye cuts in. “So, we never really had to worry about the missing half of the population.”

“It seems to be that the half that Thanos made disappear from  _ his _ universe weren’t killed,” America continues. “They just got scattered to other dimensions. Don’t know why, don’t care. This Peter ended up with this Kate, so she called me. Now, we’re just trying to track down the other heroes who got scattered.”

“Do you know who all we’re looking for?” Miles asks. “Because it sounds like there are a  _ lot _ more superheroes where you’re from. If an extra pops up here, it’ll get noticed pretty quick.”

“I only know of a few,” Peter frowns. “Dr. Strange and… I think they called themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy? Pretty sure all three of them disappeared.” He shakes his head. “Mr. Stark and I weren’t on Earth at the time, so I don’t know how many others we’re looking for.”

“Stark? As in Tony Stark?” Kate raises an eyebrow.

“Not on  _ Earth _ _?”_ Miles repeats, eyes wide.

“Yeah?” Peter answers, looking confused by their questions. Or maybe confusion is just his default expression, he certainly seems to be wearing it a lot.

Kate shakes her head and gestures for Peter to keep talking. “Okay, kid, start at the beginning, one more time.”

* * *

Peter relayed his story with such wide-eyed earnestness that Kate would have thought he was younger than Miles if it wasn’t for the fact that he mentioned being in high school.

_ God _ _,_ he was just a kid, just like Miles. Just like their Peter had been. What cosmic entity had decided that spider powers would always be bestowed on  _ children? _

Miles side-tracks the conversation by asking some spider questions, so Kate takes the opportunity to pull out her phone and send a couple text messages.

Wade gets back to her first, of course.

**TO: Katie Bird  
** _ define ‘weird shit’ and why i would notice it _

**TO: Wade (DP)  
** _ weird shit as in a new superhero popping up out of literally nowhere, possibly even a double of someone _

**TO: Katie Bird  
** _ oh we fucking around with the multiverse again? yeesh can’t writers come up with an original idea anymore? _

**TO: Wade (DP)  
** _ can you be serious for 2 seconds _

**TO: Katie Bird  
** _ no _

**TO: Katie Bird  
** _ i haven’t heard anything but i’ll keep a lookout _

**TO: Wade (DP)  
** _ thanks _

“Deadpool hasn't noticed anything strange, but says he'll keep an eye out,” she announces.

Hawkeye nods, not too concerned, but Peter looks worried. “Deadpool? Isn't he…” he wiggles a hand vaguely in the air, “unstable?”

Kate raises an eyebrow. “He's also the person with the most ears to the ground in terms of pure information. If anyone else shows up in this dimension, Wade will know about it.”

“He is  _ not _ allowed in the apartment this time,” MJ says sternly.

Kate winces and nods. “Yeah, agreed.”

“What happened last time?” Miles asks.

“Tell you later. You know, it's  _ still _   a school night.”

“But what about the missing heroes!” he protests.

“You'll be of more help after you rest and let your healing factor take care of your head,” MJ points out.

“Speaking of…” Hawkeye speaks up. “Do you guys mind if we crash here for the night?”

Kate heaves a dramatic sigh.  _ “Yeah, _ fine. Better than having you wandering around causing trouble wearing my face.”

“Please, babe,” MJ snorts, standing up to go find some spare blankets and pillows. “You cause plenty of trouble on your own.”

She shrugs, unable to take offence because it’s true. “Time for little spiders to go to bed, kids.”

“I’m seventeen!” Peter complains.

“And I’m twenty seven, what’s your point?”

He blinks at her, unsure where to take that argument as Miles laughs, pulling his mask back on. “See you tomorrow!”

_ “After _ school,” MJ stresses.

“I know, I know,” he says, heading for the window. “Bye!”

He zips away as they call out their goodbyes.

America and Hawkeye are quickly settled in the spare room (ostensibly Kate’s room if someone narrow-minded happens by) and Peter on the couch.

MJ and Kate lay facing each other in bed, just barely able to make out each other’s silhouettes in the dark, needing a few moments to themselves.

“I don’t like this.”

“I know. I don’t, either.”

“But we can’t just  _ not _ help them.”

“No, we can’t. Peter would probably start haunting us if we tried.”

A weak chuckle. “Yeah, he would. Fucking dork.”

“Our dumb dork with a ‘saving people thing,’ huh?”

“Always. You’ve taken up the mantle admirably, though.”

“Well, gotta make sure Miles doesn’t break his neck.”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “Do you remember the big Goblin fight?”

She does. She’ll never be able to forget that one. “He destroyed half the city and almost snapped Peter in half.”

“That was the only time he ever let us help.”

“Mhm. You were tapped into every security cam in the city with a view of the street and the police scanners. I broke into Oscorp and was feeding every scrap of information about the serum I could find to Peter. May and Anna were working with emergency services to evacuate everyone within a twenty block radius of the fight.” It almost hadn’t been enough, but they’d won. By the skin of their teeth, but they had won. That was the fight where Peter had been unmasked to the world, which had scared the four women to no end. But he had made the best of it. They’d made it through. Everyone had survived that fight.

“I just… I think I want to help with this one.”

“... are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m tired of waiting to hear if you’re okay. I’m tired of worrying about you or Miles getting hurt. I want to help. I want to be your eyes and ears, like I was for Peter that time. I want to be  _ useful.” _

“I get it.” And she does. That’s why she picked up her bow after meeting the other Kate and America the first time. Because she wanted to help. “Okay, babe. We’ll get you back in the chair.”

MJ tucks herself into Kate’s arms, tangling their legs together. “I don’t want to be sitting on the couch alone. I don’t want to get that call again.”

Kate holds her tighter. “I don’t want you to, either.”

She couldn’t die. She wasn’t allowed - her wife said so.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations are had, stories are told, and pancakes are eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 at last! I'd apologize for the delay but like..... y'all know how I work at this point. In any case, enjoy!

Kate wakes up the next morning unfortunately early, and to several text messages.

**FROM: Miles (babey)**

_any news?? I told Ganke to be on the lookout too but we’re sort of trapped at Visions_

**FROM: Wade (DP)**

_so would a guy with mechanical wings count as ‘weird shit’_

**FROM: Aunt May <3**

_Thanks for letting me know. All of you are welcome to come over for dinner tonight. Just don’t destroy my living room this time._

**FROM: Rob** **ε** **>**

_uh what_

She tells May that she will attempt to wrangle everyone for dinner. She tells Miles to focus on class and that he will get a full briefing after school. She tells Rob (who puts up with so much shit that she owes him at least 10 coffees) to just keep an eye out and tell her if he notices something suspicious.

She tells Wade that _yes,_ a guy with wings _definitely_ counts as weird shit, please give her more information on that.

“Okay team, up and at ‘em,” she says, knocking on the door to the spare room and hip-checking the couch on her way to the kitchen. “I’ve got a craving for omelettes and a lead to check up on.”

Peter’s head appears over the back of the couch, blinking at her sleepily. “Food?”

She bites her tongue, shoves down the heartache, and nods. “Yep, food first. C’mon, you can give me a hand.”

He yawns and gives her a soft, tired smile, and her heart _melts._

Tiny Peter doesn’t even look all that much like _their_ Peter - he’s shorter than their Peter was at that age, with brown hair and eyes, and has a perpetually confused look on his face. But Kate sees the similarities despite herself. The way sleep softens the hard edges he’s already been forced to acquire. The casual grace as he slides off the couch and wanders after her into the kitchen. The obvious need to always help, even with something as simple as breakfast.

She trusts him with the coffee maker as signs of life are heard from the bedrooms and her phone buzzes with a new message.

By the time she’s read through it and replied testily to _‘keep him there for fucks sake,’_ America and MJ have emerged and Peter has successfully made a pot of coffee without breaking anything.

“Where’s Hawkeye?”

“Shower,” America says absently, entirely focused on getting to the coffee pot. Peter all but leaps out of her way. She pours five mugs and orders him to make more.

MJ accepts the mug of coffee with a nod before looking at Kate. “So, you said you had a lead?”

She, in turn, looks at Peter. “You know anything about a guy with a pair of wings?”

He blinks at her over the edge of his mug, which has a frankly horrifying amount of sugar in it now. “Wings? Like an angel or is it a suit?”

“Wade said mechanical.”

He brightens immediately. “That’s Falcon! He's Cap's friend.”

“So you _do_ know him?”

“Sort of? I don’t think he likes me. I webbed him up last time we met.”

Of _course_ he did.

* * *

When they reach Wade's apartment an hour later, Kate isn't sure what to expect, but it's not what they find.

Ward's door is unlocked, though she isn't sure if that's a choice or just a busted lock. She pushes it open regardless and stops dead two steps into the apartment, causing Hawkeye and Tiny Peter to run into her back. They're grumbling at her, but she doesn't really care at the moment.

“Hiiiii~ Katiehawk,” Wade greets, eyes never leaving the TV, where he's playing some video game. He's in full costume, and it doesn't seem to be hindering his ability to kill virtual enemies any more than his ability to fight real enemies.

“Wade, when I said _keep him here,_ I didn't mean _this,”_ she says, gesturing at the scene.

The man who must be Falcon gives her a venomous look. “This is _your_ fault.”

Wade giggles, but doesn't move. He's apparently very comfortable sitting on top of Falcon, who is on the floor in front of the couch.

Kate scowls and snaps her fingers at Wade. “Off.”

“Hey, I'm not a dog -”

_“Off.”_

He gets off of Falcon, who immediately sits up and starts rubbing his back, glaring at Wade, who seems unrepentant.

“Sorry,” Kate sighs, stepping forward to offer a hand. “I'm Kate.”

“Sam,” he says, still eyeing Wade suspiciously, as though expecting the mercenary to tackle and sit on him again. “This chucklefuck said something about multiverse, you wanna elaborate?”

“Mr. Falcon, sir!” Peter says, pushing forward to smile at him. “Are you okay?”

“Just Falcon, kid. Or Sam. I'm fine. Who're you supposed to be?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, right, uh, I'm Spider-Man! You know, from the airport?”

Sam sucks in a slow breath, clearly composing himself. “Yeah, 'course you are.” He then chooses to completely ignore Peter in favor of looking at Kate, though his attention is pulled away again when he sees Hawkeye behind her with America and MJ. “So, anyone wanna tell me what's going on?”

“So much,” Hawkeye says flatly.

“No shit,” he returns, just as deadpan.

Kate sighs and turns to Wade. “You got any food here that _isn't_ week-old takeout?”

“Katherine,” he says, very serious out of almost nowhere. “I _always_ have ingredients for pancakes.”

“Good. Feed him.”

“I'm not your damn servent either -”

“Wade,” MJ cuts in, causing both to look over at her. Her voice is firm, but still kind. “Can you make some pancakes, please? I'm sure Sam is hungry, and the kid still is, too, probably.”

Tiny Peter blushes a little, but doesn't deny it. If he's anything at all like their Peter and Miles, he's got a bottomless pit for a stomach. Probably even worse, because he's _also_ a teenage boy, and teenage boys are bottomless pits even without enhanced metabolisms from super spider bites.

Their Peter used to call MJ the 'Wade Whisperer,’ and it seems her title is still safe, because Wade melts like cotton candy in water and nods eagerly. “Pancakes for the multidimensional visitors, coming up!” He wanders off to the kitchen, and Hawkeye gives MJ an approving look.

“Teach me how to do that.”

“No,” she says, not even looking at her, focusing instead on Sam. “Can you tell us some more about what happened in your universe? The kid doesn't know much, unfortunately.”

“I went to _space!”_ he exclaims excitedly.

“On that big donut-looking ship?” Sam asks, grimacing when he nods. “Yeah, well, you missed one hell of a fight back on Earth.”

* * *

"...and next thing I know, Steve is grappling _bare-handed_ with Thanos like a goddamn idiot,” Sam says, waving around his last bite of pancake on a fork as he wraps up the story of the fight in Wakanda. “We’re all trying to take him down, but he’s batting us away like flies. Then fucking _Thor_ flies in outta nowhere, buries his ax in Thanos’ heart, but the bastard just snaps his fingers anyway.” He eats the pancake and shakes his head. “He disappeared, and then… man, I don’t even know. Felt like I was caught in a bad crosswind or something, like I was being… blown away.”

“Dust,” Peter cuts in quietly with a shiver. “He turned us to dust. My spider-sense _hated_ it.”

“Spider _what?”_

“Not important,” MJ says smoothly. “Sam, do you remember anything else? Like who else got, well, dusted?”

Sam furrows his brow as he thinks. “Rhodes was near me, but I think he was okay. I think I heard Cap calling for Barnes, or maybe the other way around?” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I got knocked pretty far, I don’t know who all was left standing.” He sighs. “Barton wasn’t even on the team at that point, neither was Lang, and Stark had taken Spider-kid to space -”

“Unintentionally!”

“Regardless, a good chunk of the team wasn’t even there.”

“Clint wasn’t there?” Hawkeye questions. Sam hadn’t really specified exactly who had shown up in Wakanda, mostly calling them ‘the team.’

“Nah, far as I know he gave up super shit after the Accords, agreed to house-arrest so that he could be with his family.”

“Family?” Hawkeye repeats, looking bewildered.

“Later,” Kate says, turning back to Sam. “So either Cap or this Barnes guy was dusted?”

“I think?” Sam rubs the back of his hand over his brow. “Man, I don’t know, I was sort of busy being dusted myself.”

“Yeah, disintegration really sucks,” Wade tosses in casually. He’s in the kitchen making more pancakes, even though no one is hungry anymore. Apparently he just can’t stop until he’s out of ingredients.

Sam and Peter give him an odd look. “What the hell, dude?”

Wade just smiles at them from under the mask and starts humming a jingle that Kate vaguely recognizes from a commercial.

“Coming back around to the point,” America says firmly, “we still don’t know how to find all the displaced heroes, let alone anyone else, _or_ how to reverse it without fighting Thanos again.”

“Could we get the Infinity Stones in this universe?” MJ asks, raising one eyebrow.

“Even if we _could,_ we have no idea where to look for them, or to get any that aren’t on Earth,” America points out. “Besides, I’m sort of doubtful that Infinity Stones from one universe would be able to interfere with the Stones from another.”

“Yeah, we use comic book logic here, not video game logic!” Wade laughs.

“Ignore him,” MJ sighs. They do.

"Regardless, we still need to figure out what other universes have extra inhabitants now," Hawkeye says. "But I have no clue how to do that short of visiting them all ourselves."

"Which would take a ridiculous amount of time," America nods.

Kate turns to MJ. "I wonder if Peni would be able to help."

MJ shrugs. "I know she and Gwen have been working on a… thing. Don't know how well it would translate into a tracker, though."

"Who's Peni?"

Kate smiles at Hawkeye. "Looks like I need to go help Miles play hooky today."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is too friendly for her own good. Miles gets called in to call in other familiar faces. Wade is _nearly_ victorious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I need to apologize about the wait or is everyone clear that this is the status quo for me by now?

Here's the thing: Miles' parents?  _ Love _ Kate. She showed up at Rio's hospital one night with a deep gash in her arm because, well… sometimes it's just a better idea to see the professionals. Which is what she mumbled to Rio as the pain meds kicked in and the nurse started stitching her up. 

Rio told her gently that it's pretty much  _ always _ a better idea to see the professionals.

Now, in Kate's defence, she had not  _ known _ that Rio was Miles' mom when she asked if the nurse would mind sitting with her until the meds wore off? She just hated the floaty feeling, the idea that she wasn't fully in control of herself - it was always easier to deal with if someone else was there.

It was the end of her shift, but it wouldn't be the first time she stayed over, so Rio agreed, texted Jeff, and made herself comfortable next to this poor young woman who was, apparently, all alone.

Over the next couple of hours, Rio and Kate chatted, exchanging funny stories and heartbreaks. Kate knew that Rio had a husband and a son that she adored, that her brother-in-law had passed away unexpectedly only a month ago, that her son was brilliant in everything and Rio was full to bursting with pride for him. Rio knew that Kate was mourning, too, that she had lost one of her closest friends recently, was still struggling with that loss, that her girlfriend was utterly amazing and Kate was utterly smitten with her, and that she had been trying to break up a mugging when she got hurt.

Rio looked at this brave young woman, who cared so deeply, who stood up to men twice her size because it was the right thing, and decided then and there that she needed to invite Kate and her girlfriend to dinner with her and Jeff some night.

When she wasn't quite so dizzy with pain meds, Kate very carefully probed about Rio's opinions on poly relationships (because MJ was so recognizable as Spider-Man's widow, there was no way she could stay anonymous as Kate's girlfriend). The answers she got were satisfactory, and when she talked to MJ later, they agreed to dinner with the sweet nurse and her husband.

Kate and MJ had honestly had  _ no idea _ what they were in for when  _ Miles _ opened the door on the night they were invited over for dinner. Neither had he, to be quite frank. He'd known that his parents were having friends over for dinner, and that they had given him the okay to go over to Ganke's instead, but he hadn't known who the guests were going to be. 

That night is a story for another time, though. Suffice to say, MJ and Kate had come away from that dinner as friends with the entire Morales-Davis household. It only took a few more months before Rio asked Kate if she would be comfortable being added to Miles' emergency contact list at the school.

"They require at least four names and, well, we had a grace period after Aaron's death, but now they're asking for a new name. I know we haven't known each other long, but you and MJ get along so well with Miles and… well, Jeff agreed, so I just wanted to ask you before I did anything."

This is all a very long winded way of saying that when Kate shows up at Brooklyn Visions and asks for Miles, saying it's a minor emergency and she needs him right away, the secretary sees that 'Kate Bishop' is one of his emergency contacts, as approved by his parents, and pages him down to the front office.

"Kate?" Miles asks, eyes wide as he hurries into the office. "What's wrong?"

"I'll explain on the way. No one's hurt," she assures him. "Got what you need?" He nods, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly. "Okay, let's go."

_ “Kate,” _ he hisses as soon as they’re out the door. “What the  _ heck _ is going on?”

“It’s fine, I promise,” she says. “We just need your help. Specifically, we need to get ahold of Peni.”

“Peni - what -”

“Come on, everyone's waiting at Wade’s place.”

* * *

After the multiverse incident, Peni Parker had whipped up communicators for the six Spiders so that they could keep in touch. She was also trying to make a safe way to visit, but that was still a work in progress. 

Peni had offered a seventh communicator to Kate and MJ, but they had gently declined. It was rough enough with Miles some days - their hearts couldn't handle the idea of talking with other Spiders just yet, especially not Peter B. The loss of  _ their _ Peter was still too fresh. 

Maybe if they had taken the communicator, though, they would have already known about one of the main stumbling blocks with it that Peni still hadn't managed to fix yet.

"So you can't just dial up Peni directly?" MJ says with a frown.

Miles shrugs. "Individual contacts are still a problem. There's only five other devices mine can connect to, though, so it's a good chance I'll get ahold of her."

Tiny Peter is worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, thinking hard. "Well, even if you don't get this Peni girl right away, you can at least spread the world about my universe, right?"

"Yeah, totally," Miles assures him. "I'll make sure everyone is on the lookout."

"No point in waiting, then," America says. "Okay, kid, give it a try."

Peni's device works more like a window than a phone, opening up a small, stable portal that sound and light can travel through, but not matter.

The light portion wasn't immediately obvious, though, because the world that the window opened up on was in black and white.

_ "Miles? Is that you?" _

"Hi!" Miles waved cheerfully at the scarred and perpetually grumpy face on the other side. "Everything okay over there, Noir?"

Peter Benjamin Parker, who still didn't quite understand why his nickname was Noir but was also past worrying about it, nodded.  _ "It's the same. Punching lots of Nazis. How are you?" _

"Good, good - listen, man, have you run into any weird people lately? Like, people from another dimension?"

Noir is silent, and behind the portal, the crowd gathered in Wade's apartment waits anxiously for his answer. 

_ "...do you have something to do with the cat man that is currently sitting in my kitchen?" _

"Cat… man?" Miles asks, giving Tiny Peter and Sam a bewildered look.

Sam strolls over to stand next to Miles. "Hi, I'm Sam Wilson. Is the cat man wearing an impenetrable suit of black body armor that glows purple sometimes? Sort of a South African accent?"

_ "Yes to the armor. I don't know about the accent, he hasn't spoken." _

"Weird," Sam mutters. "In any case, sounds like you've got King T'Challa with you."

_ "A king," _ Noir says flatly.

"Yeah. He also goes by the Black Panther."

Noir gives Miles and Sam a very unimpressed look.  _ "Why is there a king in my apartment." _

"Long story," Miles sighs. "I promise I'll get you all caught up later. Keep an eye out for more dimensional travellers, though. I'm trying to talk to Peni and get her help."

Noir gives his promises, and as the portal closes, they hear him call out  _ "so, would you like something other than water, your Majesty?" _

"Okay, one down," Miles says as he goes to boot up the device again. "C'mon, Peni, please pick up."

_ "What - Miles?" _

"Peter," he greets, not letting the disappointment show. "Hey, weird question -"

Before Miles can ask, though, another voice cuts in.  _ "Is that your multiverse friend? Ask if he's seen Kate!" _

Hawkeye darts around, pushing Sam out of view to stand next to Miles. "Clint?"

_ "Kate!" _ a tired-looking blond guy with a bandage over his nose appears next to Peter B.  _ "What the hell is going on, girly? Usually when you vanish, you at least leave me an angry note telling me to go to hell and take Lucky with you." _

"I'm fine, I'm with America."

_ "I fu- I freaking hope so," _ Clint grumbles, sparing a glance at Miles in an attempt to keep from cursing too much.  _ "If you're in a whole 'nother dimension, you'd  _ better _ be with America." _

Hawkeye smiles. "I'm good, Hawkeye. There's another me here, too, and two Spider-Men."

Peter B. frowns at that and looks to Miles.  _ "Two? Who else is there?" _

"Uh, Kate and MJ are calling him Tiny Peter."

"I'm  _ not _ tiny!" he whines

_ "Another one?" _

"Another one," Miles confirms as Tiny Peter moves in front of the portal to get a look at Peter B.

"So, you're me?"

_ "No, I'm just Peter Parker from another dimension,"  _ Peter B. sighs.  _ "I take it you're trying to reach Peni?" _

"Yep," Miles says.

"Keep an eye out for more dimensional visitors," Hawkeye cuts in. "Especially copies of heroes. There's been a bit of a crisis in Tiny Peter's dimension."

Peter B. nods and hangs up, cutting off Clint's demand for more information.

Before Miles can try to use the device again, a portal opens up in front of him - incoming call, this time.

"Whoa - Peni?"

_ "Hi Miles!"  _ Peni greets cheerfully.  _ "I heard you were looking for me?" _

"Yeah, I was," Miles says with a grin. "Who -?"

_ "Noir called Porker and Gwen, and Gwen got through to me. I guess Noir said something about more multiverse troubles?" _

"You could say that," he says. "Peni, this is  _ another _ Peter Parker. Tiny Peter, this is Peni Parker."

"Uhhh, hi?" Peter says, still not looking happy about the nickname but starting to understand the necessity.

_ "Hello!"  _ Peni waves.  _ "What happened?" _

"Well…"

* * *

By the time Peter and Sam finished explaining about Thanos and the Infinity Stones, Peni and SP//DR (who had beeped happily at Miles when Peni called it over) had doubled their efforts on the dimensional transporter, and made some decent progress.

"...and now we just need to round up whoever we can find and figure out a way to get home," Peter finishes earnestly. 

Peni nods, not looking up from her delicate circuitry work.  _ "So you need a tracker, a transporter, and probably some more communicators?" _

"If you can," Miles says. "I know it's a lot."

_ "It is, but you forget,"  _ she looks up, pushing her safety goggles off her eyes to give them a big grin.  _ "I'm Peni Parker. And if I  _ do _ get stuck, I have plenty of other brains to pick. Don't worry, you guys - I'll figure it out!" _

The portal closes, revealing the intense silent Uno game that had sprang up on the couch between MJ, Kate, America, Hawkeye, and Wade when it became clear that Miles, Sam, and Peter were going to be busy talking to Peni for a while.

Miles raises an eyebrow. "Are you -"

"Flipping UNO, YOU DRIED-OUT PLAY-DOH!" Wade yells, waving his single card in the air while pointing accusingly at America. She silently lays down a reverse card, allowing MJ to play her draw four card, and making Wade shriek as he is forced to draw the cards.

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. 

Peter asks to be dealt in.

Miles wonders quietly if anyone is going to make him go back to school, and decides to keep his mouth shut about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interdimensional Interludes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: -doesn't update for months-
> 
> Also me: -updates one day later-
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> There's so many goddamn Peters in this chapter. I apologize ahead of time for any confusion this causes.

**Earth-90214**

"So, would you like something other than water, your Majesty?" Peter crosses his arms as he speaks, still a little peeved that he had had royalty sitting in his apartment for a solid three hours and hadn't known it.

He wasn't really expecting a response, as the cat man - the Black Panther, apparently - hadn't said a word the entire time. So, when a voice  _ does  _ emanate from the masked figure, he's a little surprised.

"That was an interdimensional portal."

"Uh," he rubs the back of his head. "Yeah? How do you -"

"Can you make another one?" The voice, as that Wilson fellow had described, is accented and refined. Peter hasn't really met any royalty before, but this is certainly the voice of a king in his opinion.

"Sure, but I can only talk to a few other Spider folks." 

"Do it," King T'Challa says, standing up. "I must find my sister."

"Well, now, wait, we can't go  _ through _ the portals, only talk - that's probably what Miles is trying to talk to Peni about, she's got the brains and the technology for it."

"Shuri is a genius," King T'Challa says flatly. "If I can find what universe she is in, she will be able to assist with the portal creation." 

"Whatever you say, Majesty," Peter shrugs and activates his own device.

* * *

**Earth-8311**

Iron Mouse had called in Peter for help.

"C'mon, you've dealt with these…  _ humans _ before, right?"

"And I  _ still _ don't know how  _ you _ know that," Peter complains. They're walking through the upper floor of SI together, heading for a secured room where Tony had claimed to have left a human. "I never told you!"

"I have my sources," he says vaguely. "Look, I'm going in too, obviously, but I just think someone with actual experience would be of use here."

"I already said I'd do it," Peter grumbles. "You know, I really - ah,  _ @$#&!" _

He hip-checks Tony out of the way as the portal appears in front of him, hoping that the hallway remains deserted.

_ "Porker," _ Noir greets with a nod.

"Hi there," he waves. "Uh, let's make this quick, okay?"

Noir nods again.  _ "There is a universe where half the population has been distributed to all the other universes. Miles and some others in his world are working to fix it. They're looking for the missing heroes. And Miles is trying to talk to Peni. Keep an eye out."  _

The portal disappears abruptly, revealing Tony standing in the hall looking smug.

"I  _ told _ you that this smelled like multiverse shenanigans."

"Shut up, Squeak. Take me to the human."

"Touchy, touchy, Porker," Tony smirks and gestures for Peter to continue following him.

The room at the end of the hall is locked, but when the door opens, Peter has the feeling that the man inside only stayed there out of courtesy. He's tall, broad, and every inch of him screams  _ danger! _

He also squints at Peter and mutters "now I've  _ definitely _ lost my mind. Again. Why is there a pig in the Spider-kid's costume?"

"I'm Spider- _ Ham, _ thank you very much," he sniffs indignantly. "And you are?" Ever polite, he holds out a hand.

The much larger hand that shakes his is made of metal. "I'm Bucky," the man says, sounding exhausted. "And I think I've probably gone completely insane this time."

Peter shrugs. "Adult life is already so goddamn weird, Bucky, that some days you just gotta accept that these things might as well happen." 

* * *

**Earth-65**

Gwen is trying very,  _ very _ hard to keep an open mind right now. She's been to a different universe. She's met four different versions of her dead best friend, one of which was a  _ talking pig. _ She can walk on the ceiling and now knows five other people who can also walk on the ceiling! Gwen Stacy has  _ seen some shit _ and she isn't going to freak out just because - just because -  

Oh, forget it. She is  _ definitely  _ going to have a minor freak-out just because there is a very sad anthropomorphic tree standing in front of her, and an also very sad-looking lady with  _ antennae _ who is hugging the tree.

Goddamnit, she thought her weird quota for the week had been filled three days ago, when she got hit with that awful anti-grav gun and had to go all Luke-the-Hutt-Slayer on Doc Ock, using his own arms to half-strangle him before he finally reversed it. 

"Um, excuse me?"

The lady looks up - and, wow, okay, those are some eyes you got there, ma'am - and gives Gwen a distressed look. "I do not know what happened. Where are we?"

"Uh, Central Park?"

The lady cocks her head to one side. "Central to what?" 

"Um, New York. No, nevermind, listen, are you - can I help you guys somehow? Who even  _ are _ you?"

"I am Mantis. This is Groot."

"I am Groot."

"Great, okay, I'm Spider-Woman." 

A siren wails nearby and Gwen flinches. "Okay, we gotta move. The police don't like me, and they  _ definitely _ won't like you." She beckons Mantis and Groot (the  _ tree _ oh god this is so weird) to follow her, and runs for an alleyway. 

Just as they get in, a portal appears in front of Gwen.

"This better be good - oh, hi, Noir."

_ "Gwen, we have a problem." _

She looks over her shoulder at her new companions. "Do you also have a sad tree and a bug lady in your universe?"

_ "...no,"  _ he admits.  _ "But I know why you do." _

"Go on."

Noir explains, giving her a bit more detail than the quick and dirty version he gave Porker, and by the time he finishes, Gwen's spider-sense is prickling in a way that means someone is watching her, and not the two weirdos she grabbed from the park. 

"Okay, I'll see if I can get Peni," she promises swiftly. "I gotta go, bye."

The portal closes, and she rapidly opens a new one. Thankfully, the person on the other side is the one she's looking for. "Peni! Miles is looking for you. Noir called Porker and I, more multiverse stuff. Call Miles! Bye!" She closes the portal before Peni can say a word and shoots a web through the dissipating picture.

"Hey!"

"Gotcha," Gwen mutters, yanking on the web to pull the person who was watching them forward.

It's… well, it isn't what she was expecting.

"Who are  _ you?" _

"Ned Leeds," he says, not even looking up as he tries to pull the webbing off his shirt without ruining it. "I'm Spider-Man's friend."

Behind her mask, Gwen raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? Which one?"

"Which friend?"

"Which  _ Spider-Man,"  _ she corrects. "There's quite a few."

He looks up at that, even more distressed and confused. "I - I don't know, the Peter Parker one?"

She sighs. "That narrows it down, but not by a lot. The janky old hobo?"

"What? No, Peter is my age, and definitely not a hobo."

"Great," Gwen sighs. "Another flipping Peter Parker."

The sirens start wailing again, and she tenses. "Okay, Ned, you're taking Mantis over there - find her a hat if you can. I'm taking the tree. Meet me here, okay?" She scribbles an address on his hand, thankful that he had had a pen sticking out of his backpack. "Don't do anything stupid."

"But -" 

Gwen grabs Groot before Ned or Mantis can protest and swings them up into the sky.

She  _ really _ needs to learn to stop thinking that things can't get any weirder.

* * *

**Earth-616**

"See? She's fine," Peter says. "She's with America and Miles."

"Yeah, the spiderling that you still  _ refuse _ to tell us anything about beyond the fact that he  _ exists," _ Clint scowls. 

"He's a good kid, and now he's got two Kates for help. He'll be fine. I'm more interested in these multidimensional visitors - do you have Richards' number?"

"Why does everyone assume I know Reed Richards?" Clint complains. "Why don't  _ you _ have his number, haven't you worked with the Fantastic Four?"

Peter shrugs. "I'm more friends with Johnny. C'mon, do you have it or not?"

"Then call Storm and make him talk to his own damn brother-in-law -"

Clint's phone beeps and vibrates, and he frowns as he checks the message. "Uh, change of plans."

"Why's that?"

"Three white ladies just broke into Tony's lab in the mansion."

_ "What?" _

"And apparently, one of them is claiming to be Janet."

"As in the Wasp?"

"Yep - come on, let's go before anyone gets hurt."

* * *

**Earth-14512**

Peni had hung up with Miles and was now working furiously with her music blasting, which is why she didn't initially notice that someone was trying to gain access to her lab. SP//dr noticed, though, and made sure that Peni finally looked up, too.

Daredevil - and someone else. Odd.

She opens the door, allowing them to enter.

"Peni, have you talked to the other Spiders?"

"Yeah, I just finished with Miles - why, what's going on?"

Daredevil gestured to the man standing behind him - not unkindly, but in a way that clearly showed he wasn't pleased with the man, either. "Multiverse visitor. Says he needs to be in your lab."

"I've looked into the future, and the way to save my entire universe and all its inhabitants is with this young lady's help, as I have  _ said," _ the man snapped before turning to Peni. "I am Doctor Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme."

"...yeah, okay," Peni said, giving Daredevil a look that clearly said  _ 'looked into the future?? Sorcerer??? Give me a break!' _ His masked face remained impressive as he leaned against the wall, clearly not leaving while Strange was there. "Well, I've kind of got this on lock right now, but you're welcome to uh… sit down and not touch anything."

Strange nodded, though he didn't look happy about it, and seated himself in the corner opposite of Daredevil, settling in to watch her.

Great. Not like Peni did her best work when she was left alone or anything.

Awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i was planning on this being longer and showing more characters but uhhhhhh Motivation Juice ran out. Also, I need to do some more research into other Marvel universes and figure out which I want to use.
> 
> Before you say anything, I already know _exactly_ where Shuri is, and it is going to be _hilarious._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interdimensional Interlude, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, okay, so it's been a CRAZY DAMN WEEK and this story ended up being my stress relief so like? Sorry not sorry for how emotional the end of this chapter is. Enjoy!

**Earth-12041**

Fury turns in a slow circle, taking in the city around him. New York. Stranger things have happened than being instantly teleported from Atlanta to NYC, but something is rubbing him the wrong way about this whole thing. 

Also, he doesn't have his pager, which is…  _ irritating, _ to say the least. And where is Hill?

No, something is very wrong here - an idea that's reinforced by the figure that flips down to land in front of him.

"Nicholas! What are you doing down here with us mere mortals?"

Fury narrows his eye. Spider-Man had last been seen going off on that alien ship with Iron Man. He also isn't this tall.

"Don't call me that. Who are you?"

Spider-Man shuffles back a step. "Uh, Spider-Man? Pain-in-your-neck? Newest professor at SHIELD Academy? Any of this ringing a bell? Do you have amnesia or something? Did you get hit with some kind of forgetting ray? Are you sick? What -"

"Shut  _ up," _ Fury snaps, developing a headache listening to the kid blabber on. "I'm not the Fury you know, clearly. So call  _ him _ up so that he and I can figure this out."

Spider-Man is silent for about two seconds before asking  _ more _ questions.

"Really? That's amazing! What universe are you from? What's it like there? I've been to some other universes before, it was crazy, I met so many other Spider People - have you met other Furys? Oh, what about the Fury in that gender swap world, Nichole Fury? I bet she's awesome - I should ask Petra about that next time I see her."

"Call. Fury." he grinds out. "The Fury of  _ this _ universe.  _ Now." _

"Oh! Right." Spider-Man taps at a communicator on his wrist. 

_ "What is it, Spider-Man?" _

"Hi, Fury! I found you. Well, another you. Remember the multiverse stuff? Yeah, I think something like that is happening again."

_ "And how do you know he's not a Skrull?" _

"Hang on - are you an evil alien shapeshifter?" he asks.

"No," he says sharply. "And Fury can run all the tests he wants to confirm that once I meet him." Skulls also weren't evil as far as he knew, but he kept his mouth shut about that. Things might be different here.

Spider-Man shrugs. "Fair enough. We're coming to you, Nicky!" He shut off the communicator before the other Fury could protest and held out a hand. "C'mon, we gotta do this the old fashioned way. I left the Spider-Cycle at the academy today."

Fury wonders what the hell a Spider-Cycle is as he resigns himself to an undignified ride up to the Helicarrier he can see approaching them in the sky.

* * *

**Earth-311**

What Shuri has going for her is that she is extremely intelligent, generally unafraid of most threats, able to take care of herself, and is the head scientist and princess of Wakanda.

It doesn't take very long to realize that this world only cares about the last thing.

"A princess?" the Queen gives her a calculating look. "Of… what was it?"

"Wakanda," Shuri answers shortly, losing her patience rapidly. "And I need to get back there."

"I've never heard of this…  _ Wakanda." _

"It's in Africa."

"Hm." Shuri is counting backwards from a million in isiXhosa in her head, as her mother taught her to do when she was a child and more interested in running off to the mines than sitting through state dinners. It didn't help much then, and it doesn't help at all right now.

"Please, your Majesty, all I need is passage on a ship heading to Africa, anywhere in Africa." She knows her home. Wherever the ship makes landfall, be it in Cairo or Cape Town, she will be able to make her way to Wakanda and, more importantly, to the vibranium mines.

Shuri knows that she is very,  _ very _ far from the Wakanda, the world, that she knows. That was obvious as soon as she woke up here, in a London before the Great Fire, even before she was given audience with Queen Elizabeth I. She knows that this has far-reaching consequences, and that her best bet for answers and a way home will be through the technology made possible with vibranium. 

Well, in theory. All she has to work with is what's on her person, and whatever the Wakanda of this time might have. She's not naive enough to be overly optimistic about it. Wakanda has always been advanced, but there are limits to what even the Wakandan scientists can do in 1602. 

Hm. Maybe she should look up Shakespeare before she leaves London, he was supposed to be good for a laugh and witty conversation.

"Can you not buy passage yourself, Highness? Why should we fund your travels?"

Well, she can't exactly say that she's from a future where not only does Wakandan currency exist in a purely digital form, but the only foreign currency she has with her is a Visa card. "I was… kidnapped," she says. Not exactly a lie, really. She  _ was _ forcibly removed from her home and taken somewhere else without her consent. "I managed to escape, but with only myself." 

"The guards in your home should be increased, to prevent such a thing from occurring again," the Queen says, and if there is any smugness in her tone, it is subtle enough that she could deny it if pressed. "Very well, we see no danger in having a foreign kingdom indebted to us for the safe return of their princess. Sir Nicholas, secure safe passage on a ship bound for Africa for the Princess Shuri."

The man that all but materializes out of the shadows behind the Queen's throne is white, but otherwise very comparable to the pictures Shuri has seen of former SHIELD Director Nicholas Fury. He even has the eye patch.

Shuri bites her tongue and silently curses. Things just got  _ much _ more complicated.

This isn't simply time travel anymore.

* * *

**Earth-TRN688**

San Francisco is known for its weird inhabitants, but this guy is…  _ very _ weird.

**_Can we eat him?_ **

"No," Eddie says sharply, eyes still on the man in the leather jacket who looks more lost than anyone he's ever seen before. "We don't know if he's a bad guy."

**_Hungry!_ **

"We have tater tots at home."

**_Hungry_ ** **_now!_ **

"I'll buy a Snickers, okay? But we can't eat this guy yet."

Venom subsides to a quiet grumbling in the back of his mind, and Eddie ducks into the convenience store across the street to buy the Snickers. Just his luck when Weird Guy wanders in after him.

**_Smells funny._ **

"What?" Eddie mutters.

**_Smells funny. Like space. But not. Wrong._ **

"The guy?"

**_Yes. Weird Guy._ **

Great. Looks like he was going to have to get involved.

Eddie had barely had the thought when there's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, only to find Weird Guy standing behind him.

_ Great.  _

"Hey, uh, can you help me?"

"Maybe," Eddie says cautiously. "What do you need help with?"

"Well, I'm not really sure… where I am?" the guy gestures vaguely around. "Like, this is Earth, right? It looks like Earth."

Eddie thinks about what Venom had said - that the man smelled like space. Oh, god, was he another alien? Eddie really didn't want to deal with aliens today, other than Venom.

"Yeah," he sighs. "This is Earth. California, to be precise. Uh, San Francisco."

"No  _ way,  _ I always wanted to see San Francisco!" Weird Guy says enthusiastically. "That's awesome. Thanks!" He starts to wander away, which  _ cannot _ happen. Eddie tosses some ones at the cashier for the Snickers bar in his hand as he darts after Weird Guy.

"Hey, hey, hold on! Who are you, dude?"

"St- I mean, Peter. I'm Peter Quill." The little stumble at the beginning is odd, but the name is normal-sounding.

"Hi, Peter. I'm Eddie Brock."

"Hi," he says pleasantly. No recognition in his eyes or voice, and while it's not that unusual for people to not know who he is, after his unreleased exposé on Drake was 'mysteriously leaked' following the failed launch and explosion at the Life Foundation, he was being recognized more and more.

Venom is still grumbling about eating the poor guy in the back of his mind, and Eddie is trying hard to ignore him. 

"So, Peter, can I help you with anything?" he asks. "Do you need to go to the hospital maybe? If you have amnesia -"

"I don't think so," he says. "I remember everything that happened pretty clearly, I just don't get how I ended up here."

"...right." Maybe he should text Dan. If Venom didn't freak out the good doctor, then some weird amnesiac wouldn't either, right?

"Whoa, what's that?"

Eddie looks down to where Peter is pointing. "Uh, a Snickers bar?"

"A Snickers? For real?" He looks excited, and almost nostalgic, like he hasn't seen a Snickers in decades.

"Uh, yeah? It's just candy - here." He breaks the bar in half before unwrapping it, allowing Peter to take the top half.

The guy loses himself in the chocolate for several minutes, so Eddie takes the opportunity to eat his own half and wonder what to do next. Peter doesn't  _ seem _ dangerous, just odd - maybe he was abducted or something.

**_Abduction is pointless. Lies. Or jokes._ **

_...well, maybe some alien college kids picked him up as a prank. _

**_Unlikely._ **

Well, whatever happened to Peter Quill, Eddie isn't about to let him just wander SanFran on his own.

Now he just has to figure out what the hell to do with the guy.

* * *

**Earth-616**

Tony looks unhappy when Clint and Peter arrive at the mansion, which isn't  _ that _ weird, but he's not even poking angrily at his StarkPhone, which is  _ definitely _ weird. 

"So, uh, where's everyone else?" Peter asks, glancing around. He and Clint are in their suits, which Tony is not (for the moment), but there aren't even any other heroes in their civvies hanging around.

Tony waves a hand. "Didn't call 'em. I want this to be handled  _ quietly."  _

"And what about Janet and Hank?" Clint asks, folding his arms over his chest. It's a valid question if one of the B&E'ers is claiming to be Janet.

"Incommunicado," Tony says curtly. "Come on, I want these three figured out sooner rather than later." He leads them inside, walking quickly.

"So, uh, why us?" Peter asks. "Or, well, why Hawkeye, because I just sort of tagged along -"

Tony waves a dismissive hand. "You've been seen hanging out with the birdies recently, I figured you'd be nearby. And - well, you'll see." 

_ Ominous. _ Still, they followed him down the hall to a conference room usually used for Avenger debriefs. Inside were, as promised, three white women. One was older, with long white hair, and looked very similar to one of the younger two, with black hair. The third was brunette, and the most obviously pissed off.

"Okay, ma'am, I got Spider-Man," Tony announces as they enter. "And a Hawkeye for good measure.  _ Now _ will you cooperate?"

The brunette jumps up when Peter walks in, but stops herself short with a pained look. "You're - you're Spider-Man?" 

The older woman lays a hand on her arm. "I told you, it isn't him. We're in a different world."

"A different world?" Peter repeats. "Are you - uh, shot in the dark here, but are you from a universe where all of the heroes were fighting against aliens, lost, and half the population got disintegrated?"

The younger two blink at him while the older woman stands and holds out her hand. "Finally, someone with a brain. I'm Janet van Dyne."

"The Wasp," Peter nods as he shakes her hand.

"Not for a long time," Janet laughs, gesturing to the black haired woman. "This is my daughter, Hope.  _ She's  _ the Wasp." 

"Hi."

Hope nods and shakes his hand as well. "We weren't involved in the fighting, but we heard about the attack on New York -"

"And I was  _ there," _ the brunette cuts in, sounding on the verge of tears. "And I had to watch on the  _ news _ as my - as Spider-Man and Iron Man were - were  _ abducted _ or something, and I don't know what  _ happened _ to him!" 

"Ma'am," Peter says gently, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, "give me two seconds, okay, then we can have a private chat."

He turns back to Tony and Clint. "Okay, Clint, fill him in on the multiverse bullshit. Tony, I need a room for a few minutes."

"Across the hall," he says immediately. "Spidey, what's going on?"

"Clint will tell you," he says, turning back to the woman. "Ma'am, if you'll come with me?"

Clint is protesting that he only knows, like, 0.05% of what's going on, but Peter ignores him in favor of leading the woman across the hall to what ends up being a small sitting room.

As soon as the door closes, the woman is confronting him. "Are you him? Are you Peter Parker?"

"I - yeah, I am," he admits. It hurts and it's scary, like it always is, admitting his identity to someone, but the woman seems relieved, even when he pulls off the mask to reveal his tired, unshaven face. "I - you - Aunt May?" he asks, somewhat helplessly.

She throws herself forward for a hug in lieu of an answer and Peter clings to her tightly. 

"I don't know where my Peter is," she says, voice thick with unshed tears. 

"I think I do," he says, remembering the young face, the fidgety kid that's obviously fueled by anxiety and a can-do attitude. "He's safe. I would trust the people he's with with my life. I sort of have, actually."

Most of them, anyways. He hasn't met the whole gang that Kate and America apparently crashed into in Miles' dimension. 

"Can you get him here?" May asks desperately, pulling back far enough to look up at his face. "Please, I need to know he's okay."

"Maybe," Peter says cautiously. He isn't sure how essential Tiny Peter is for whatever they're cooking up over in Miles' dimension, but he thinks that they could probably convince America to bring him here, or maybe even to take May there. "I'll do my best. I promise."

"Oh, I know, Peter," she says softly, and it breaks his heart a little bit. "You always do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Universes in order of appearance:  
>  _Ultimate Spider-Man_ cartoon (which overlaps with _Avengers: Assemble_ and _Hulk and the Agents of SMASH_ )  
>  _Marvel 1602_ (comic series by Neil Gaiman)  
>  _Venom (2018)_ (and it's a damn shame that it still has a Temporary Reality Number instead of an official universe designation)  
>  _Marvel Main Comics_ (the "real" stories of the Marvel universe, the main world, whatever you want to call it. If you see 616 attached to anything Marvel, it's "more official" than other 'verses)

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!


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